


i read the news today, oh boy

by BlueberryRainbow



Series: Notes and Rythms [2]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Swapfell, Gen, Just some stress writing, Minor Character Death, Not a Happy Story, Papyrus-centric, Slice of Life, dont mind me, i guess, mentioned child death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-21
Updated: 2018-06-21
Packaged: 2019-05-26 13:02:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15001463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueberryRainbow/pseuds/BlueberryRainbow
Summary: a day in the life of a sentry/judge that would honestly rather be anything else.





	i read the news today, oh boy

**Author's Note:**

> This was therapeutic to write, honestly. I chose to set this in Swapfell because that universe is my sandbox of sorts. I like screwing around with what ifs. I don't think I've it like this before, though.
> 
> I think this the longest one shot I've ever written.
> 
> Bonus points if you get the title.

8:00 am. Wake up.

The alarm goes off far too early, as usual and it is accordingly shoved off of the night table and onto the bare floor. Tuesday again, the routine of work making this a day like any other except for the slightest change in schedule. That change being that today he would have to visit the castle to deliver reports on all the other mundane days of the week since last Tuesday. Tuesdays used to be his favorite part of the week, but now they were just another chore so graciously bestowed on him by the Queen. He didn’t even know why she bothered to keep him in a sentry station since he was given his new position in the Capital. It was just so tiring to run from one duty to the other and then back home to help keep the house from falling apart. His reward at the end of the day being a measly four or five hours of restless sleep before it was time to work again.

“Brother! Are you awake yet? It’s almost time to go,” a loud, scratchy voice shouted from downstairs, already up and probably making breakfast. Hell, he had probably been cooking since the ceiling lights came back on.

“On my way, I just need to get dressed,” Papyrus called down to his brother before forcing himself to roll out of bed and tug his jacket on. He had given up on sleepwear years ago and now slept in his clothes night after night until he was forced to change them by his brother.

As usual, Sans was in the kitchen cooking lunch in advance despite the many times the food had been left untouched. Papyrus honestly preferred to go to Muffet’s for a quick bite and gratuitous amounts of syrup for lunch. The food Sans made would be gone by the end of the day, thrown out or eaten as Sans’ dinner, whichever happened today. A part of him felt bad for neglecting his brother’s food, but he would much rather feel a little guilt than have to go through his day without even an ounce of sugar.

“Are you going to eat breakfast at home?” Sans asked, hope creeping into his voice before being crushed immediately as Papyrus shook his head.

Doing his best not to look at his brother, Papyrus took a piece of bread and bottle of water from the counter and refrigerator before leaving, as soon as he was outside he took a shortcut to his sentry station. The bread was warm, Sans must have been up all night baking again. A sharp pang of guilt struck his soul as he left his brother alone for the rest of the day. Dinner was never eaten together, both of them were busy during evenings and far too stressed with their positions to deal with the other. The few times they had attempted a family dinner had ended in an explosion of yelling and hurtful words that they did and didn’t mean. Quietly nibbling on his food, Papyrus settled into his seat and sat back to wait out this portion of the day.

10:00 am. Start patrol. 

With a hard sigh, Papyrus forced himself to stand up and stretch. Like Tuesdays had been his favorite day, patrol used to be his favorite hour because he got to stretch his legs. Now it was just time taken out of the naps he would sneak in while he was ‘on watch’. No humans had come through in years, why would that change today? This whole job was a waste of time. If the Queen wanted someone to sit at a covered table for hours on end she could at least pick someone who wasn’t busy with other responsibilities she kept dumping on the Guard and Court. There was probably some other sentry looking to take an extra shift or some bastard out there looking for a job.

His patrol route used to be covered by his brother as well as himself, but since the Queen began cracking down on rebellions (even so much as speaking out against the Queen’s decisions was now considered treason and worthy of death, it made his job that much harder), Sans had been busy raiding one ‘base’ after the other with that insufferable lizard.  So, Papyrus had been doing his patrols alone and in complete silence for the past few weeks. A few monsters had tried to start trouble with him without the presence of his brother, but he quickly reminded them why he was the Queen’s chosen executioner.

His phone went off. He pulled the wailing device out of his pocket and checked the caller I.D. It was Sans, that was odd.

“What do you need, bro?” Papyrus asked, answering the call.

“Nothing, I just wanted to check up on you. I heard about… about the last one,” Sans explained, sounding genuinely sympathetic.

“Who told you?” Papyrus asked, not having the energy to unravel his feelings on the subject.

“Al. She had to notify the family. The girl’s father almost took out her other eye. You may or may not see him later, I’m afraid,” Sans said, trying to keep his tone light. Papyrus could practically see the strain in his brother’s ever-present smile.

“That’s wonderful. A matching set of dust piles,” Papyrus remarked dryly.

Sans was quiet for a moment after that. Papyrus broke the silence by saying goodbye and his brother bid him farewell before cutting off the call. Papyrus pocketed his phone and continued on his patrol, mentally cursing at himself for being so stupid. Why was it so hard for him to talk to his brother? Why couldn’t he just say something normal when he was talking to people instead of blurting out whatever crossed his mind?

“This is why no one likes you,” he muttered, picking up the pace. The sooner he was done, the better.

11:05 am. End patrol. Doze off.

12:00 pm. Smoke break. Short nap.

1:00 pm. Wake up. Lunch.

Papyrus opened the door to Muffet’s, seating himself at his usual stool at the counter. Muffet brought him his usual and he nodded in thanks. He wasn’t sure if he had ever heard her voice or if she could even speak, he’d only spoken a few words to her before (that he knew of, anyways). Still, the silence between them never felt awkward, just comfortable and even friendly at times. He ate his muffin as quickly as he could and took his bottle of syrup out with him, dropping a few golden coins on the counter. Like everything else of importance in the world, the symbol of the Queen sat proudly on both sides of them.

He dropped by the house quickly to take the sandwich that had been left for him, he wasn’t going to eat it, but it wouldn’t be there when Sans got home and that was what mattered. Maybe his brother would feel a little happier if he thought his meals were being eaten. The sandwich was tossed in the dumpster behind Muffet’s. Maybe someone who needed it would find it. He hoped so, his brother was a godawful cook, but a decent baker.

1:30 pm. Resume sentry duties.

3:35 pm. Deliver reports.

Papyrus gathered the thin folders with the single sentence of reports in his arms and took a shortcut to just outside the castle. Teleporting directly inside was against the rules and punishable by a trip to the castle torture room, something Papyrus was not eager to experience. He calmly entered the grey walls of the palace and quickly made his way to the garden where the Queen spent much of her time. As expected, she was there, watering the flowers and humming quietly. Papyrus dropped to his knees as her gaze shifted from her precious garden to him. He kept his bowed and his eyes fixed on the ground.

“I have brought the reports for the week, my Queen,” he said, offering the folders to her.

“Why thank you, Papyrus. Always good to know my favorite skeleton is doing his job-” there was a pause as she opened each folder- “to the absolute minimum of his ability. Really, I ask for information and this is what you bring me?”

“My apologies, Your Majesty. There really isn’t that much the report,” Papyrus explained, forcing himself to stay still even as he felt her gaze boring into his skull.

“So it would seem. I suppose Snowdin isn’t very interesting… Very well, get ready for your other job. We have some important targets coming in today. And for your sake, Papyrus, I hope your aim is better than your writing skills,” the Queen said, concluding their meeting. She turned back to her flowers and he rose to his feet, leaving immediately.

4:00 pm. Assume title of Judge.

From now until the end of the day were always Papyrus’ least favorite hours of the day. As proud as he had been when the position had first been given to him, the reality of the duties that came with the title of Judge were always there. They became far more apparent as time went on. His job as Judge wasn’t even to judge those brought before him, it was just a nice name for the Queen’s Executioner. He didn’t make the decisions, Her Majesty did. He hated it. He hated her so much. But, it was either him or some other bastard who wouldn’t make it three days without maxing out and going stark raving mad. 

Papyrus snickered. The Queen sure lucked out with him, a stupid kid who couldn’t think two steps in front of him and couldn’t gain LOVE. He was the perfect Judge. Plus she already had some leverage on him even before he walked right into her claws, all she had to do to really sell him on the new position was guarantee the protection of his loved ones ( _ “You have a brother in the Guard, correct, my child?” _ ) and subtly threaten them should he ever fail her. No doubt she had done the same with the rest of the Court and probably the upper ranks of the Guard as well. Looking back on it now, the red flags were everywhere. Her fake smile, her too-sweet tone, her insistence on knowing everything about him.

“PAPYRUS! You will acknowledge your queen when she speaks to you!” Her Majesty roared, eyes lit with rage. Her massive figure (had she always been so large?) loomed over him and he nearly cracked his skull in his rush to kneel.

“My apologies, Your Majesty!” Papyrus cried, pressing himself as far down onto the tiles as he could. Stupid! How stupid could he possibly be!

“Get up! Do not ever ignore me again or the consequences will be dire,” she growled, digging her heel into one of his hands before turning back to the monsters in front of her.

Thankfully, the Queen hadn’t put much intent in the blow and his hand was intact if only a little sore. He pulled himself back up and straightened his clothes. After taking a quick second to compose himself, Papyrus surveyed the situation. Before him stood the Queen, looking down distastefully at two monsters, one clearly the father of the girl he had killed the previous day and the other a Loox.

“Who would you like me to eliminate first, Your Majesty?” Papyrus asked, glancing briefly at her.

“The Loox. Here are his charges,” she said, handing Papyrus a carefully folded paper. The Royal Emblem was printed on it to make the charges official.

“You are hereby charged with and found guilty of conspiracy to commit treason and resisting arrest. For your crimes you will face the grand punishment of death. Glory to the Queen,” Papyrus read off the document and stared down at the Loox. The easiest way would be through the eye. Simple and fast.

Before the monster had a chance to dwell on death too much, Papyrus thrusted five bones through its eye. It crumbled to dust before it could scream.

Papyrus wordlessly took the next paper from the Queen. The bird monster honestly didn't seem like that bad of a guy. Papyrus half hoped that he'd committed some terrible crime before he assaulted Alphys. He didn't deserve to die for something as trivial as a failed attempt to hit her.

“You are hereby charged with and found guilty of assaulting a guard. For your crimes you will face the grand punishment of death. Glory to the Queen,” Papyrus read before leaning down to get a better look at him.

“Is there something you would like to say, Judge?” Her Majesty asked, sounding bored.

“No, Your Majesty. Just… she had his eyes,” he remarked, driving a bone through the bird’s spine. Thankfully, he died without a sound.

“That's all for today, Papyrus. Do not disappoint me again or you and everyone you love will suffer for it. You are dismissed,” the Queen said, not looking at him.

“Yes, Your Majesty,” Papyrus said, turning to leave as quickly as possible.

“Oh, one more thing. Give your brother my regards, dear,” she said, smirking.

Papyrus nodded and left the room with a bow. As soon as he was out of her line of sight, he ran out of the palace as fast as his legs would carry him. As soon as the soles of his shoes hit stone instead of tile, he was gone.

4:45 pm. Snack at Muffet’s.

5:30 pm. Go home.

Papyrus shut the door behind him and relocked the first three locks and slid the bolt into place. The other five or so locks were unnecessary and he had no idea why they had them. Sans was sitting on the couch, eating biscuits which the house smelled strongly of. He must have had a bad day at work. Papyrus went into the kitchen and saw his dinner sitting on the counter. He took it and sat down next to Sans.

“You're home early,” Sans observed, scooting over to give Papyrus more space.

“There were only two today. I'm assuming your raids weren't very successful,” Papyrus said with a shrug, dipping one of his biscuits in syrup. Sans gave it a slightly disgusted look.

“No, they weren't. We barely made it out of one. I guess we made the Queen quite upset with us,” Sans admitted, looking ashamed for a moment.

“Today wasn't my day either, I drifted off while the Queen was talking to me and pissed her off,” Papyrus offered, not wanting Sans to feel like the only failure in the house.

“Well… tomorrow is a new day, I suppose. I'm going to get to bed,” Sans said, though that was an obvious lie. He would never willingly go to sleep. He was probably going upstairs to sulk.

“Sleep well, then. And… don't feel bad about today, bro. It could've been worse,” Papyrus pointed out.

Sans gave him a smile, a real one, before going upstairs and into his room. Papyrus leaned back against the couch and picked at his food for a bit before putting it in the fridge. Sans could eat it later.

5:37 pm. Sleep.


End file.
